The Robot Uprising Is On!

I, for one, would like to be the first to give praise to our new robot overlords.

Dinty Moore Stout for you Wastelanders

Whether you're an urban scavenger or desert dweller, everyone remembers the taste of the perfect food to ride out an apocalypse. Like it's namesake, this stout is both difficult to find and even harder to make. It's well worth the time you'll spend to do so, however.

Now, with this simple step-by-step recipe you too will be able to drink the stout that truly eats like a meal. Enjoy.

Grain Bill
22 pounds 2 row
2 pounds spelt
1 pound amaranth
1 pound quinoa
1¼ pounds wheat berries
1¼ pounds rye berries
1½ pounds old fashioned oatmeal
1 pound flaked barley
2 pounds roasted barley
1½ pounds Chrystal 150º
1 pound Black Patent Malt
2 pounds carapils
1½ pounds victory malt

Other Ingredients
2 Cups molasses
¾ pound of Rocket Java

Hops
6½ Oz. Chinook

Yeast
White Labs American Ale Yeast Blend WL060

Step by step:

Coarsely crush all grains. For the smaller grains (amaranth and quinoa) you'll need to employ a food processor.

Heat 10 gallons of water to 130º. Mash in. Stabilise at 120º. Hold for ten minutes. Raise to 155º and hold for 70 minutes. Raise to 165º and mash out. First running should take about an hour to complete, be patient. Sparge to collect 15 gallons of runoff.

Bring to a boil. Allow the boil to continue until you have reduced the total volume to 13 gallons (may take awhile depending in how hot your burner gets.) You are aiming for a total end-boil volume of no more than 10 gallons of wort to reach your target gravity. Add the two cups of molasses at anytime during the boil. Use caution to avoid scorching it on the bottom of your boil kettle.

Hopping Schedule: 90 minute boil.

1 oz. Chinook after initial 10 minute boil
1½ oz Chinook at 45 minutes
1 oz Chinook at 60 minutes
1 oz Chinook 75 minutes
1 oz Chinook at 85 minutes

¾ pound Rocket Java (beans broken in half. A frying pan and Ziploc bag work well.) at flame out

Cover and rest for 10 minutes. Chill and ferment. Primary ferment one week. Secondary for two weeks (Dry hop with ½ oz. Chinook per five gallons). Bottle/keg as normal.


og 1.090
fg 1.028
ABV 9%


Yes, my fellow wanderers this is an incredibly labor intensive beer but once you've made/found it; you'll know it was worth the trouble.

Musical Interlude The Sixteenth

I'm walking in the mini mart there's food on the floor
There's carts everywhere, there's blood on the door
I just want to buy some snacks and get back home
But these ghouls are trying to eat my bones




Zombies again. I know. There just seems to be a giant proliferation of songs of the dead these days. But you do have to admit it is a catchy little ditty.

The Passage winner is ...

Me, "Hey, Millie! Pick a number between one and four."

Millie, "No!"

Me, "C'mon, pick a number!"

Millie, "What?!?"

Me, "Between one and four!"

Millie, (pause) "three"

So for those of you playing the home game 'Jim' from survival weekly is the winner. I'll contact you through your blog so you came claim your fantastic prize. Thanks to all who entered.

Musical Interlude The Fifteenth

'Can’t you see what this world’s become?
When the dead feast off the living, yeah.
And we’re about to join the fun.'





This one's for you Kate.

Tycus

'The comet that was earlier thought to be harmless is now on on a collision course with the moon. There is a distinct possibility that the fragments could come crashing to Earth and cause serious damage. Specialists from NASA and JPL in Pasadena are advising all emergency and governmental agencies to have evacuation plans in place for some urban and low-lying areas in the United States. Right now, coastal communities and large cities are at the greatest risk. There is no need to panic. Please stay tuned to this station for more late breaking news and information.'

- News report just before tshtf

The Last Mimzy

'I don't understand. What do you mean?'

'Wrrraurrarr'

'But I don't want the world to end. Ever. I love the world.'

'Waur'

'I don't want it to die.'

'Waurrarrr'

'I know.'

'Waurrurr'

'I know. With all my heart. I love you so much'



-conversation between Emma Wilder and The Mimzy

Post-Apocalyptic Andy Rooney

'Who's the guy in your group who attaches all the spikes to your football pads? He must come in pretty handy.'
That guy most likely is Chris from Dirty and Distressed. Jussayin.







UDATE: I got the 'distressed' shirt in the mail. These pictures will have to do until I get the other off the digital camera.

Here's to you Mr. 3000th Visitor

Another giveaway. Comment to be considered for a chance to be sent a copy of The Passage by Justin Cronin.

No rabbits were harmed during the writing of this post.

My liver however is a different story. Good luck.

update:

son's 'a bitches! forgot an end/drawing date. lets say september 15 shall we?

Oh yeah! World wide shipping. Don't be shy.

Boredom = Bracelet

As it happens over and over with me, when I get bored I start a new project. This blog and my twitter account are perfect examples. I get bored things happen. Anyhow a shirt that I bought from Dirty and Distressed is due to show up anytime. This is not a shirt you can wear with just any piece of clothing. To that end I've spent the last weekend washing and rewashing an old pair of Levi's. Also to go along with this whole thing I re-purposed an old corduroy jacket, a worn out pair of khakis and an old belt to make a bracelet to complete the whole look.

This is the bracelet:












I'll get a picture of the shirt later.

And yes my wife thinks it's terrible and that I'm a dork. Whatever.