Random find....

I never quite know where I'll end up working when I wake up. Can be a great day or a bad day ... it's all up to chance. Today was a pretty good day with kids who were decently behaved. No great stories of high school hijinks just a boring day in the world of substitute teaching. There were two or three bright spots of cool however. First the teacher I was in for was British. When I called her to get some details about how the day was supposed to go, she called me 'luv' about three times. Also after detailing the myriad things the kids could do she ended the conversation with 'and if they can't think of anything to do they just sit and twiddle their bloody thumbs'. Goddamn the British have some spectacular slang/swears.

The second thing that was sweet was the play. I guess the freshmen class were putting on a version of Romeo and Juliet. It was an hour-long play. I had been prepared to be bored and not like it. At the beginning it went sorta badly. The first scene was a homage to West Side Story with Montagues and Capuletes instead of Sharks and Jets. It was sort of cheesy and I thought 'Oh no, this is going to be the suck.' But it wasn't. After that it turned out pretty good. Of course, the ninth graders hated it and commented how terrible it was as they left, but ninth grade kids hate everything. Contrary to popular belief it was good. Reminded me a bit of the update from 1996.

The third thing was the best however. These kids have a fun teacher as it turns out. I don't know if this assignment had been done already or if it was laying in wait for another time. Apparently the kids had to get into groups and order a list of possible doomsday scenarios from most likely to least likely. My personal opinion on least likely would be 'simultaneous human combustion'. Not even Exit Mundi has thought of that one!

**UPDATE: This random blogger has put together a much more comprehensive list of possible doomsday scenarios ... alas like Exit Mundi he failed to mention worldwide, simultaneous, Spontaneous Human Combustion. **

The Road in Review (+ birthday fun)

I turned 37 November 28th. I think most of my family knows about (and understands) my love of all things apocalyptic. My gift list was as follows (and also would work as a Christmas List):

Jeans
levi's 34/32

Movie tickets

Movies

The Terminator (Special Edition)
Terminator 2 - Judgment Day (Extreme DVD)
Terminator 3 - Rise of the Machines (2-Disc Widescreen Edition)

Books

Another Place to Die by Sam North
Bar None by Tim Lebbon
Chronicles of the Apocalypse: Species (Chronicles of the Apocalypse) (Chronicles of the Apocalypse) Michael McBride
One by Conrad Williams
The Afterblight Chronicles: Operation Motherland Scott Andrews
Hunger by Michael Grant
Malice by Chris Wooding


I think most would agree that most of those things are PA in nature. I got the jeans, the book by Tim Lebbon, the third book in the second Emberverse Series 'The Sword of the Lady' and my bother in law Matt my homebrewin' partner got me a gift certificate to Steinbart's ahhh more 2 Row for me. Also I had been putting the hard sell on my wife Millie. The film adaptation of The Road came out on November 25th. I was so excited. Then came the news that it would only be shown in 31 cities nationwide.

I wasn't too worried. It had been filmed in Oregon so I was pretty sure that chances were fairly high that one of the 31 would be Portland. So good news/bad news. The Road was definitely going to be in Portland is of course the good news. The bad news is that I am extremely bad at navigating cities of any size at all. My upper limit seems to be Salem. More bad news: my birthday always falls at Thanksgiving time (I'm a Valentines Baby ... do the math) so that weekend is always set aside for family gathering so it took more than the normal amount of wheedling to get her to drive me.

She is indeed one of a kind. As soon as I asked her if she would like to go see The Road with me (bunch of 'hint, hint' and eyebrow waggling thrown in for good measure) the first thing she asked me was 'Is this one of those movies where everyone dies?' The most amazing thing is that when I told her 'Why yes, yes it is, but don't worry the director decided not to include the baby cannibalism scene after all' she still agreed to take me. Sweet lady huh?

The movie was of course playing in only one theater but it was at least close by. I, thinking it would be popular because I'm a bit self-centered and think everyone should like the things I like, went onto fandango sure that if I didn't purchase tickets way in advance I'd be assed out. So I ended up going to the 12:15 showing. The plan being that we could go to Todai and have their lunch buffet.

Also wanting to beat the hordes of people who would want to see the show we showed up about a half hour early. We had the glory of being the first people in the theater so had our choice of any seat. We chose the top row right in the middle (done of course so we don't get kicked in the back by mouth breathers). Then we proceeded to watch the place fill up and the show sell out. I bet more people would have been able to see it but the show was in a tiny shoebox theater.

The book was bleak and grey. That is the best description of it. The world was grey. It also seems to be told in a series of anecdotes that are loosely connected. The story has parts that happen in the present, parts in the distant past as well as parts that are in the recent past. It is hard to tell what is what. The movie was the exact same way. If anything the movie is more bleak and more grey than the book. It also had the same sort of disjointed feeling of the book too. As the movie progressed further the whole world contracts until it's just the father, the boy, and the road.

It ran for 112 minutes. The description of 'a father, a son and the road' may seem a bit boring to some. It was fantastic. The best review came from my wife as we were leaving 'huh, that wasn't nearly as boring as I thought it would be. It didn't seem like it was almost 2 hours long.' That is a close second to the large biker type sitting next to me. 'I rather enjoyed the ending. A great upbeat holiday film (hints of sarcasm on that last bit).'

Two parts were better in the movie than they were in the book. The first, the scene with the coke can was great. The man finds the can in a mostly destroyed building and gives it to the boy. He opens it and takes a sip. 'It's fizzy' he says. (Chuckles from the audience). The boy was great in this scene. It completely looked like he had never drank from a can and this was the first time. Great scene and more emotional than the book, for me anyhow. The second was at the end. In the book it didn't seem as ominous as did in the movie. I knew how it ended and everything but it still had me guessing.

The movie reminded me of The Bicycle Thief. This movie as well is about the relationship of a boy and his father and about how he would do nearly anything to keep his son healthy and feed. Ultimately The Bicycle Thief ends on a pretty down note. The man doesn't get his bike back and since it's a 'No Bike, No Work' deal he ends up with no job. It's not too much of a stretch then to say 'No Work, No Food'. Even the movie poster looks similar. Also a big thank you to Gavin, looks like that 'Form and Meaning in Film' class paid off again.

There were some pretty fantastic parts of the movie that were only fantastic because it was filmed in Oregon and because of the mix of people in the theater. The movie is about the journey of a man and his son to the beach. I hope that doesn't spoil anything, it's in the previews and all. Anyhow at the end of the journey they make it to a pretty prominent Oregon Coast landmark the wreck of The Peter Iredale. Pretty sweet to see it and have it fit in so nicely. It's in Ft. Steven's Sate Park.

I also saw pretty good shot of the Broadway Bridge. Great to see a city I'm familiar with all done up PA.

The last nifty thing was only nifty if you happened to be in the 12:15 showing on November 28th. The theater asks over and over to turn your cell phones off and not to text. There is always some jackhole who leaves it on and it rings. That's what happened. But it was awesome! It rang at the part where the father and the boy are sleeping in a car and the father hears a noise and wakes him up. If you were in the theater you were greeted with the ringing phone and the father jerking awake and angrily waving the gun around. So funny. I asked my wife about it and she almost thought it was part of the movie ... but wait it's been many years since the end of the world and no way are there still-working cell phones. Hilarious. I would normally be pissed off but I just couldn't be. So great.

Since the movie started at 12:15 and Todai closed for lunch 3:00, we thought we would have plenty of time to get our glut on. The movie was nearly two hours long and when we got to the restaurant it was 25 minutes until closing. So we still strapped the ol' feedbag on but we had to eat fast.

That as well is a good recommendation. We had no idea how long the movie was until we got to the restaurant and they were closing in 25 minutes. The movie would have been worth missing lunch. Also Todai gives you a free meal on your birthday so what the hell right?

Finally this random musing on a random message board about the looming release of The Road:

'The book is brilliant and I could definitely see Mortensen as the father, as long as they keep it bleak. No action hero nonsense or cutey kid stuff.' Don't worry Random Message Board Poster, the movie is exactly what you want it to be.

** UPDATE: My lovely wife read this posting and gave a bit of crap about spelling, repeated words, and run ons. I think I fixed most of them. Sheesh .... **

Dark Advent at the Half-way point

Dark Advent has a cover that belongs on a totally different book. What book that is I don't know for sure. Perhaps one that is a great deal cheesier, but I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This is my second run through the book and so far Dark Advent is much closer to the story line of The Stand then Swan Song is. I'm about a quarter finished and the grade school children wading in the cave of demonic lava has yet to materialize. I'm still holding out hope for the red faced demon on the front however. A couple characters are contenders.

I scanned the inside so others might revel in the glory, but the in-law's dial- up is not doing it. I had always suspected it and now I'm sure: dial-up does indeed suck. I'll post it a bit later. It is quite the sight to behold.

This book is very close to The Stand. I loved The Stand and as I mentioned before I lost count of the number of times I have read it. But I cannot be the only person who wonders what Flagg was doing all the time. I know I always wondered what sort of evil shenanigans he was up to. Him and all his friends. The answer lays within the covers of Dark Advent. A school kid revenge by dragging. Random rape and murder is what they would've been up to if Mr. King hadn't pulled the punch. A Flagg-centric version of The Stand would be pretty sweet, Dark Advent will have to do for now though. I hope even greater horrors are awaiting me. I read it so long ago I don't remember what exactly is in store.




*update* Here's the inside cover. Brian Hodge credits it with higher book sales. I bet he's right.

... and then on to Dark Advent

Finished The Stand yesterday at my sub-job. Being a substitute teacher may be a soul killing job but at least if I choose wisely I can spend the day with my nose in a book and be paid $153 a day to do it. I feel that's a pretty fair trade off. And let me tell you yesterday was quite the day. The first four periods of the day I was supposed to have the lil' bastards read chapter 7 and 8 from Night by Elie Wiesel. Since the kids were reading for the first four periods then I could too. I had indeed chosen wisely. And as it happened the first class was rather fun. The kids were a bit chatty but for the most part they just read the book. I had to shush them a couple times but no biggy. Towards the end one of the class one of the students remarked 'This must be the worst class you've had, huh?' I looked at him for a second and it dawns on me. He is being serious. 'No', I tell him 'This is far from the worst class ever.' He asks me to tell the story. I think about it for a minute and then say 'If you guys keep reading silently (so I can continue to read) I will tell you the tale of my worst day ever, the last five minutes of class.'

They all settled in to read. And I regaled them with the fine anecdote of a profoundly bad day. Seventh grade science. Dissection. Sheep eyeballs. A class who hadn't done many dissections. A recipe for disaster? Yes, quite. Started off ok. Then the resident dillhole decides to make fake puking noises. This makes some of the seventh grade girls actually throw up. Gets worse. The same dillhole decides for no reason and completely unprompted that it would be a fantastic idea to LICK one of the years-old-formaldehyde-soaked eyeballs. It turned out poorly for him and the rest of the class when he began projectile vomiting. Now that, friends and neighbors is what you'd call a truly horrific day.

But yesterday was an altogether ok sort of day. The only tiny wrinkle was the third class. They decided Night was a very boring book. (I read it in the eighth grade, it is anything but dull. Stayed with me forever is what it did.) They also wanted to just talk the whole class. They also though I wouldn't do anything. Three randomly assigned detentions later they got the point. After that it was guerrilla warfare. Many kids in the class clearly had read the book Frindle by Andrew Clements. That is another very good book. So is the prank they pull on the teacher. Nicholas Allen reads about the blackbird and how when it chirps it is impossible to tell where it came from. (Doppler Effect I bet). It's true too. It not only works with bird chirps but with loud tongue clicks. So for the last twenty minutes of class I was subjected to loud peeps and clicks and I couldn't be sure who did them. Not the worst thing that can happen. But still annoying. (and also a bit funny).

But the important thing here is that during my tour of hell I was able to finish The Stand and then started Dark Advent by Brian Hodge. I am still only 30 pages into Advent more than 24 hours because well, I spent a good portion of my day punishing my liver.

So a bit about The Stand. I won't talk much about it because I intend (HA) to post about all three books at the same time. This time through I was waiting for the massive trip to Vegas and then the trip back. I remember it being looooong. It was my second favorite portion of the book (the best part is the beginning the filth and chaos). This time it just seemed short. It still has to be the longest dénouement of any book I've read ever. But this time I was able to read it in the time between telling mouth breathers to shut up and read.

Other thing I thought about. Who was the main character? As my college professor friend Gavin Keulks told me in English 101. 'To find the main character ask yourself who changes'. So if I understand it correctly Harold Emery Louder and Larry Underwood share the title. Larry changes from being a real asshole to being an ok guy. Harold Louder changes from being a douche to being an ok guy to being a total asshole. In other words Harold and Larry change places. Just the way I see it.

A side note here. This commitment to read The Stand, Dark Advent and Swan Song is KILLING me. Under the Dome is out. Hard to wait. I guess UTD will wait. Also Advent is great even 30 pages in. Maybe this time the red skinned demon and the flaming grade school children will appear in the book. Or perhaps the cover has nothing to do with the book whatsoever.

More updates as events warrant.

The Stand at the half way point ...

I don't even remember how many times I've read this book. It is and remains my very favorite book about the apocalypse. I am at the point however where the book gets a bit less interesting for me. I enjoy the whole 'society breaking down' bit but I find that I liked it best when all the people were by their onesome (Mother Abigail). The book seems to bog down a bit when they begin to get together. I'm at that point now. In my mind I see like the scene from T2 when the T-1000 gets frozen in liquid nitrogen then is shot. The pieces all separate and are far apart. I am at the point in The Stand where all little chunks clump up. The book is still fantastic, I just like it more when they are wandering and scavenging. Also since I've been through the book countless times I know good parts are coming up. They wander and scavenge on the way to Vegas and on the way back too. So I remember that it's worth it. Reading it with 36 year old eyes has been a richer experience then the 20 year old eyes that read it last time.


This trip through the book I've been reading a bit more carefully than I have ever done (I tweeted The Stand for a bit but got bored). I have found WAY more errors than the glaring one I wrote about long ago. It's been more than a year and Mr. King has yet to respond to the open letter. I won't hold my breath. More updates as events warrant.

The Hopkins Manuscript by R. C. Sherriff

I finished The Manuscript some time ago. I enjoyed it. It is on of those books that has sat for a bit on 'The Bookshelves of Doom.' With this book however I am not too terribly unhappy at myself for not getting to it sooner. This book was definitely a 'literature' type book. In other words a book for more high brow reading. Still a good book even accounting for all its highfalutin words an' such.

I will try not to spoil anything for those who may want to read it sometime. The basic premise of the book is that the moon is somehow or other getting closer and closer to the Earth and will hit. The reason for the alteration of the moon's orbit is never given so once again I think the crafty 'Alien Space Bats' have been at work. They seem to appear in a lot of sci-fi books.

So the moon hits the earth. I understand that this book is both a satire and also pre-space flight but c'mon! If the moon hits the earth it will do plenty of damage. I'm nearly certain the moon is not mostly hollow and if it was where did all the metal come from?!?

All of that is not the most disturbing part though. I was amazed at how in the face of this global cataclysm the wealthy still treated the poor like garbage. 'Well everyone is dead .. tut tut. By jiggies look a survivor. Oh wait he's a gardener. Let's all not even talk to him.'

All that aside, I did enjoy this book a bunch. I did however enjoy Moonfall by Jack McDevitt better as well as Life As We Knew It by Susan Beth Pfeffer. Now don't get me wrong here. I did enjoy the Manuscript, it had that special charm only old books can pull off. I simply think the basic plot has been pulled off a bit better in other works.

It's Only Temporary

I pushed the 'pause button' on The Hopkins Manuscript and took this book with me on my sub-job today. I started it when the kids had study hall, continued it on my lunch break and finished it when kids were having silent reading. All-in-all I spent about 2 1/2 hours on it. It's Only Temporary was even better than I remember it being. It follows Sean for his last eight hours as he travels to see his ex-girlfriend and reads like a rocket sled going down hill with no brakes. Unstoppable in other words. Just a fantastic ride where the outcome has been set out from the beginning. Closest I remember to something like this is 13 reasons why by Jay Asher. Highest Recommendation. Read it and right now!

Of vanity novels and commercials made of win

I'm sure that I cannot be the only person to have unwittingly stumbled across a vanity novel. Just in case you have been lucky enough to not run across one of these jems yourself, I'll explain about them just a bit. If I understand it correctly these are books that are the goats of the literary world. No one wants to publish them. So what ends up happening is that the author will generally pay for the book to be published themselves and will hence forth be able to proclaim to their friends that they have a book published. (Is this so much different than blogging? Perhaps not.) Another way to think of them (I figure) is to compare them with Independent Films. Some of these go to Sundance and are great and others go directly to dvd.

Also like many of these type of books, a strait to dvd movie will fool you into thinking that it's a good movie. Then as you wade into it the realization starts to settle in. 'Oh my ... I have chosen poorly.' The same thing happens from time to time when I get into a new book. As a completest I power though the book. Now don't get me wrong I don't automatically hate a book when I make the discovery that it's been been independently published. These books run the whole gamut from really terrible and readable only because it's the literary version to Blood Sucking Freaks the best/worst horror movie of all time to absolutely fantastic and completely unforgettable (and not for the faint of heart). The following are either vanity books or are published by a tiny publisher with my verdict on how good or bad they are.


The New Madrid Run by Michael Reisig.

Finishing The New Madrid Run was the genesis of this post. Before I mentioned that self published books range through the whole spectrum from bad to great. This book falls into the middle. Not good, not bad just so-so. I had avoided reading it for quite some time. The reasonings behind this avoidance are many. Firstly: I read a book called The Rift by Walter Jon Williams. The Rift was also about The New Madrid fault. But it was just a local sort of disaster and in no way apocalyptic. The New Madrid Run just looked too similar to me. Secondly, the word 'run' is in the title. That didn't make me literally run from it, it made me think of all those 'Endworld' books. In an earlier post I went on in detail my love of The Executioner books and let's not fool ourselves here: they are Harlequin Romance novels for dudes (Since David Robbins is a pen name for Don Pendlton I'm not surprised). But I outgrew those type of boilerplate books. So it took me a long time to find myself in the mood.

I'm glad I finally got to it though. It was a bit amateurish and the writing a bit ham-handed at times. But I went with it because I'm a game day player and by the time I was about half way through I was completely enjoying it. At times the plot was predictable and the dialogue was pretty stilted. I saw Travis eventually getting together with Christina. I didn't think it would happen so soon though or that they'd nearly make out over the cooling corpse of her boy friend. I also deducted points for Travis standing in front of a mirror and describing himself. That was damn strange. Also, as I read it Nissin started a new Chow Mein Noodle add campaign and the character of the Sensei was so stereotypical all I could see was the Noodle Master in my mind. Voice and all but with swords and not chopsticks. It almost replaced The Chicken Man commercial as my favorite one, but not quite.

I also had a hard time at the beginning of the book too because he so clearly meant it to read as nonfiction ... a cautionary tale. I got over it though. All in all the book made me think of Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse by Victor Gischler A cheesy good time. I recommend it.


Junk Day by Arthur Sellings.

In this book the cause of the end is never spelled out. It follows Bryan as he scavenges and runs into trouble with various bands of rapscallions. I read the book some time ago and I guess I only remember that it was hard to get into and totally unremarkable. I did like the descriptions of the highways being cleared of debris then walled off and fortified then finally taxed and patrolled by men in the employ of the local strong man. This book falls in the middle. I just remember it being slow and a bit tedious. Also I paid way too much for it. It most certainly wasn't worth $23 plus shipping. Worth reading? Yes. I think I may re-wade into it. Give it one more chance before I give up I guess. I paid for it after all.

Alone by George Washington III

Once again I was fooled by The Last Man On Earth section at Scifan.com.
Alone by George Washington Paullin III comes in at the very bottom of the scale. The book is unreadable. I only finished it because I paid for the thing and wouldn't let it get the best of me. I had to power through it in a single sitting too. It was like when I had to run a mile in fifth grade. I knew if I stopped I wouldn't start again. Life is just too short and luckily enough so is this book. I recommend that anyone who wants to read this think again and perhaps read the phone directory instead.

I looked for it in my collection of read books and even under the bed. The last place I remember seeing it is at school. I took it to class to allow my students to see what may happen if they refuse to proofread their work. I must have left it there. The book was filled with errors. A couple on each page. In some cases I can overlook the occasional typo. I’ve made plenty myself. I even managed to overlook all the strange errors in '48 by James Herbert because it was a great book and, because to me, it looked as though he had an unfortunate experience with the 'correct all’ feature on microsoft word. Also ’48 has the same basic plot of The Afterblight Series. I should have been prepared for a whole bunch of errors when I noticed one on the back cover. WOW, is all I can say. Do not waste any time or money on this pile of shit.

It’s Only Temporary by Eric Shapira

It’s Only Temporary is one of those rare fantastic books. It is just beyond words. The deal is that a giant asteroid is going to strike the Earth just off the coast of New Zealand. It’s going to hit so hard that it will kill everyone. There are some scientists who think that .00001 or .00002 of the human race will survive. The governments of the world knew about the asteroid for years but chose to keep the knowledge from everyone until there was only six weeks left. Some people keep working some people commit suicide. Everyone deals with the knowledge that the world will end in their own way.

The story reads as a journal of sorts told from Sean’s point of view. He chooses to spend the last six weeks of his life watching television, smoking pot, spanking the monkey almost constantly and also hanging out with his parents. On the final day though he decides to go looking for his girlfriend. So he says his final tearful goodbye to his mom and dad and sets out through a world that has no tomorrow, second thoughts, regrets or punishment.

This is by far one of the best books I’ve read … ever. Just writing about it now makes me want to read it again. It’s very short so I may press the pause button on ‘The Hopkins Manuscript’ (I’m only 2/3 of the way through and the moon has just landed) and give It’s Only Temporary’ another go. I bet I finish it tonight.

Bit of trivia about the book. If you preordered it the book came autographed and with a bonus chapter called ‘Speaking of Butler’. I chose wisely and preordered. Well worth it. And the cover -- the asteroid/skull thing is righteous. Also I'm on the fence as to it's 'vanity novel' status.

LMFAO!

"It's just like Mad Max II, The Road Worrior. Not the one with Tina Turner, but the one before that one with the gyrocopter guy."

The Hills post apocalypse

more later now it's time to drunkenly watch 'Drag me to Hell'. WooT.

This just in from NASA

World Will Not End In 2012

Ok then ... I'll just put that on the 'No Shit' pile.
Thing reads like an Onion article. Sheeesh. How much are these guys paid again?

Similar? I think not.

I've heard it far too many times. The Stand and Swan Song are nearly the same. So... for my next three books I will read and compare not just The Stand and Swan Song I'm throwing Dark Advent by Brian Hodge into the mix as well. It's compared to The Stand far too often.

BTW I can think of only two similarities off hand.

Similarity the First: The Holland Tunnel is traveled through in both.

Similarity the Second: Randal Flagg and The Man with the Scarlet Eye are both evil and possibly demons, both vanish from the story in the same way and appear later in the story.

Fallen Angel

Found this flash cartoon years ago. Was only the teaser trailer for the longest time. Kept waiting and waiting for the real deal to come out. Well it came ... I don't know at least a year ago perhaps? Sorry for holding out on you if you haven't seen/heard of it. It is completely righteous.

Teaser:

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/192340

Episode one is complete. Also the brains behind it changed quite a bit of the story over the years it took him/her to complete it. Still sweet though. Might be a bit before we see more if the artist is true to form. Enjoy ... 13 minutes of pure distilled awesome.

Episode 1:

http://www.aniboom.com/animation-video/313291/Fallen-Angel---Episode-1/

Catching up ... the quick and dirty version

Two things first. (Three maybe?) School has started once again in more than one way. I am firmly ensconced in the last real class of my master's degree (All I have left is a practicum and the thesis). Also all the kiddies have trotted off to be edumacated. That means that some poor unfortunate soul has to step in when their regular teacher can't stand them any longer or is sick (right teachers become immune to everything!) So between the two my reading and typing time has been restricted (who am I kidding? I read just as much but don't do the typing.) Lastly I am a homebrewer ... don't know if I've mentioned that before. Believe me when I say it, me having the brewing setup I have is like giving a kid a candy making machine. I have been spending an enormous amount of time in this endeavor. The latest batch is an homage to Russian River's Pliney the Elder. My professor friend at school, Gavin Keulks, has accused me more than once of brewing the beer from Waterland that takes you through all the stages of inebriation. My homage to Pliney is in fact that brew. Unlike anything I've had before. I know I am a true beer snob -- to satisfy my craving I have to brew it myself. The upshot here is that between schools and brewing and drinking what I brew, I haven't read as much as I did over the long and glorious summer. So looking back at the peacefulness that was my summer I have a lot of books to speak about.

Now to the 'Catching up' part of our program.


Dark December by Alfred Coppel

Fantastic vintage novel. What made it especially good is that it is set in the same part of the world as me. This book is mainly about the journey. The bulk of this novel deals when a Major attempting to find his family in the aftermath of a prolonged nuclear war the United Stated eventually won. I had a problem with the Major walking through the bomb craters and commenting about how his boots crunched over the glass the earth had been turned into. Could that happen? Could you walk through that and live? I don't know. I do know that its a great book with a bittersweet ending. I'm glad that Mr Coppel chose to have a sort of a downer ending. Good for him.


Cataclysm by Don Pendleton

When I was but a wee slip of a lad - just eight or nine years old, I wasn' t the best reader. In fact when I was a fifth grader I was having my reading lessons with the first graders. I hated that. I remember it being unbelievably stupid. Stories about living mustard and ketchup bottles and being surrounded by little kids. (yes I know a fifth grader is still a little kid but c'mon!?! Me with first graders?) It was over the summer of my fourth grade year when I discovered my dad's books (And no I don't mean his Playboys; I didn't find those till the next year). He had the whole run of the Executioner books by Don Pendleton starring Mack Bolan. So I just started in with the first one War Against the Mafia and continued reading until I either ran out of books or got bored. What ever it was I eventually stopped reading them. However, not before I had written a story for my fifth grade teacher about my hero called simply enough 'My Hero Mack Bolan'.

Quite a bit back I was looking through the sci-fi section of one of my local book stores 'Paperback Exchange'. In my possecion was more than a hundred dollars in store credit so I was willing to take a risk with free books. That's when I saw Cataclysm written by who else? My old friend Don Pendelton. I wish I had read it sooner. It was unputdownable. The plot was the same as The Hab Theory but lacked all the strange forbidden archeology tidbits like the weird metal disks and books. Also The Hab Theory ended at the end. Like the last sentence is ' Then the lights went out all over the world. Forever.' or some such. Cataclysm deals with the same sort of deal too. The world has been destroyed before and is about to be destroyed again. But the keeps going and doesn't just stop with that. If you haven't read either The Hab Theory or Cataclysm it would be pretty righteous to read Hab and then read Cataclysm. Had I but known that's what I'd've done.



The Outer Limits: The Vanished by John Peel

Ummmm .... I know this is a kid's book and all and it's very short. Also it's an 'Outer Limits' book so I should have expected some wacky twist. But it was listed on Scifan.com in the 'Last Man' section so I was expecting something other than what I got. Short version ... this wasn't apocalyptic. Don't waste your time or money with it. Since I got it from paperbackswap.com I only lost the time I spent reading it. So good news/bad news: free book but it only took me about an hour to read.



What Niall Saw by Brian Cullen

This book is one of the bleakest (most bleak?) books I've read in a good long time. It's offered as the journal of boy who is seven years and seven days old as the book starts. He gets right into the meat of the story as well. The whole family is under the stairs with their dog (a wolfhound my personal favorite dog breed) because the bombs have fallen. Over the course of the story there are more bomb detonations which Niall describes as 'shakes'. Little by little his situation worsens. They deal with hunger (them and the dog), cabin fever from being sequestered in the closet under the stairs for weeks on end, and roaming scavengers looking for food. About 3/4 of the way into the book they make their escape. The ending stayed with me a very long time. It ranks with When the Wind Blows, Level 7, and On the Beach in terms of downer endings. If you haven't read it yet find it and do so.



Why Do Birds by Damon Knight

This book is apocalyptic but ... I still recommend you avoid it. Avoid it if you're looking for a PA read that is. Sure the world ends. It is an 'end at the end' type book. That wasn't why I don't recommend it. I just hated that Mr. Knight wrote a bunch of I guess mysteries (for lack of a better phrase) that he never solved for the readers. Foreshadowings that were just left hanging. Big ones too. What was the ring? Who was visiting him at night? Where did he come from, the past or somewhere else? How did the aliens overcome the phase shift problem with suspended animation? What did the aliens do with all the people who were in suspended animation? The aliens defiantly swooped in and carted the majority of humans away but were they taken to another planet like in Knowing or did they meet an end like that of the humans from the classic Twilight Zone episode also written by Damon Knight? More questions raised than were answered. Yup ... this is an irritating book I recommend you avoid. Or perhaps I just missed it … who knows?

Why Do Birds was a book that I wished I hadn't finished. I have never stopped in mid-book and tossed it the trash but with this book if I could somehow go back in time and somehow spirit it away, that's what I'd do. The only other book I felt this way about is Blood of the Children by Alan Rodgers. When I think of horror I don't think Stephen King I think Alan Rodgers. Blood of the Children is the most vile book I've read (three times). But if you really feel you must read Why Do Birds, I'm posting it at http://www.paperbackswap.com/ and you can have it for free. Help yourself.



The Plague Trilogy by Jean Ure

These three books are: Plague 99, Come Lucky April, and Watchers at the Shrine. I loved the first one. As it starts out, Plague 99 has two friends, Fran and Harry (short for Harriet), going on a camping trip for a month. They are to have no contact with the outside world whatsoever. Harry is the outgoing one and forces Fran, who is very introverted, to go with them. At the last second Harry breaks her leg and Fran after a bit of convincing goes on without her. When Fran gets back she finds London empty, wild parties going on and that Harry has gone bat-shit-crazy. Also follows the adventures of a young man called Shahid. And of course Shahid eventually meets up with Harry and Fran just before Harry disappears.

Come Lucky April is not nearly as good as Plague 99 but it does have the extra bonus of answering the questions left at the end of the first book. I especially enjoyed the descriptions of London in ruins. Ure does a pretty fantastic job with this. The only thing I don't understand is where did all the man-hating come from? Seriously. Also I never could figure out how they sustain any population under the societal structure. I mean what the hell?

The last book Watchers at the Shrine Follows April's son as he escapes the society a decade or so after the events of Come Lucky April. It was good as well. But only because it ended the trilogy I guess. After the events of the second book I would have figured that she might lay off the whole 'men are terrible' bit just on the choice that April makes at the end of it. But no, she goes even further with how men left uncivilized are horrid creatures.

Final analysis. Plague 99 is definitely worth the price and time to read. Come Lucky April is a mixed bag at best but worth it if for no other reason than to wrap up the loose ends from the end of Plague 99. I can say with no doubt that Watchers at the Shrine can be skipped (unless you are like me and insist on completion).



The Postman by David Brin.

I can't praise this book enough. I would have read it much sooner but I am a Johnny Come Lately to the glory that is The Postman. I have only thought of it as the Kevin Costner pile of crap. I had read that he had butchered the book but I thought it has to pretty close to the book right? And it wasn't too far of a stretch for the postman to be the hero who defeats the villain in a stunning display of strength. After all that is how A Meeting at Corvallis and The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe ended. I really had no idea just how great it is. I'd say The Postman is easily in my top twenty. I was almost ashamed of myself for letting it sit on The Bookself of Doom for the three years I allowed it to. To be fair I have the copy the Kevin on the front and I'd seen the movie and part of Waterworld. If you are a fan of PA fiction and haven't read this yet it's almost as big a crime as not yet reading The Stand, seriously. Yes, it's that good.



Twilight World by Poul Anderson

This is a nuclear bomb destroys the world type book with a twist. The twist is that inexplicably the weird/crazy/super power type mutations happen in the first generation. No one apparently gets cancer - they all turn into mutants some with powers. About half way through the mutants who are powerful and also smart leave the planet and colonize Mars. They figure that if they stay on Earth the mutations will just get worse so they get while the gettins good. It's a good book if you can suspend your disbelief and the thin nature of the science. I don't expect much from my book other than they be fun to read and not laden with spelling and or grammatical errors.



Year Zero by Jeff Long

I avoided this book for awhile. I knew it was out there and had seen it listed with other PA books. I even saw at a book store and read the inside flap. I was still sorta leery because of the Christian themes. I tend to avoid these type of novels that all seem to be a variation of the whole 'Left Behind' series. And to that I say 'no thanks'. All of that was true until I went into the local Goodwill. I can't resist looking at the books there any more than I can resist looking in used book stores as I pass. It was there I found Year Zero for a measly $4.99. A pretty sweet deal. I was still not sure about it though so I tucked it away on the Bookshelves of Doom and promptly forgot about it. It sat there for I don't know how long really, awhile. I picked it up and started reading couple weeks ago. Once I got into it I couldn't stop reading.

The general premise is that a very nasty, super contagious, and uniformly fatal plague is unleashed. It spreads from the tiny island of Corfu in Greece and eventually spreads all across the globe and the last bastion for humanity turns out to be Los Alamos. It starts because Niko, the collector, liked to find artifacts and the best of these in his opinion were sealed vials. He broke them open a give the ol' sniffer sniff to the rarified air of millennia past. But inside of a very intricate puzzle lies four vials filled with a nasty virus. It is invisible and as it kills you it erases you; both you and your memories.

This turned out to be an absolutely fantastic book. Like every other book that is this good and has been left to languish on my shelf. I regret not getting to it much sooner and wonder what other books have been similarly avoided for no good reason. I figure I'll get to them all in good time. I am after all nearly out of books to find and must be content to wait for them to come to me.

The book this most reminded me of was The Dying by Leslie Horvitz. Mainly just the relentless onslaught of the virus and descriptions of deserted cities. I haven't read The Dying in a good long time but as I read it I kept thinking about how it reminded me of that book.



Thus ends the update. I guess it wasn't so quick. But it least I'm caught up and was able to separate two pieces of chafe from the wheat.

An Anniversary Inspired Contest

The first post to this humble blog was Thursday, September 18, 2008. So in honor of this glorious event I will be giving away some of my duplicate books. Remember in school when there was the matching section of the test? Anyhow that will be the way in which you -yes YOU - will have in your possession the following books:

The Stand (uncut) by Stephen King
Ill Wind by Kevin J. Anderson and Doug Beason
Plague byGraham Masterton
Afterwar by Janet Morris
Dust by Charles Pellegrino
Shiva Descending by Gregory Benford and William Rotsler
Black Sun by Robert Leininger
The Taking by Dean Koontz


Match the following books to their synopsis:



A)Earth Abides by George R. Stewart
B) Swan Song by Robert R. McCammon
C) Fire by Alan Rodgers
D)Blood Crazy by Simon Clark
E)Dark Advent by Brian Hodge
F)Blakely’s Ark by Ian MacMillan
G)Dust by Charles Pellegrino
H)Eternity Road by Jack McDevitt
I) Skeletons by Al Sarrantonio

1) A crazed geneticist seeks to bring about Armageddon through the magic of science - the dead rise and The Beast is loosed upon the world.

2) The dead fight the living until there is a single man and woman left. Abraham Lincoln gets a chance for vengeance on John Wilkes Booth.

3) Sue Wanda. Fear death by water.

4)Humanity turns into a bunch of neanderthals. Did Stephen king lift the idea from this to write Cell? Perhaps.

5) A quest for the lost treasures of The Roadmakers.

6) The smallest of insects prove to be man's undoing.

7) Much like The Stand but without Randal Flagg

8) A hermit returns to civilization to find it gone. Traces him and his family as they slowly return to the cave.

9) In the aftermath of a plague a young man gets a ticket to paradise.


First one to correctly match all nine gets the prize. Happy reading. Post answers in the comments. Winner announced November 18th.

Loose ends and other ramblings

First bit of business here. I need to write about Gone by Micheal Grant. This is another of the interminable 'all the adults have died/vanished and the children have to fend for themselves' type book. The plot line was done much better in books like Empty World by John Christopher or even The Girl Who Owned A City by O. T. Nelson (even though I didn't care for the book much). This book takes a slightly new variation of that theme with the use of a giant bubble or force field or some such thing. Placed there by Alien Space Bats as far as I can figure out. I'm not giving anything away either because the author includes a handy map on the inside cover that gives all the details of 'The FAYZ' (Fallout Alley Youth Zone) and conveniently mentions that the 'zone' has a diameter of 20 miles and is centered on the power plant. Now I for one didn't read the opening teaser from the inside flap:


'The Little girl had the power. She had the power Sam had, or at least something like it.
The power he had used in panic to create an impossible light.
The power he had used and almost killed someone with.
The power he had just used again, dooming the very person he was trying so hard to save.
He was not the only one. He was not the only freak. There was -or had been- one other.
Somehow that realisation was not comforting.'

I of course like to just dive into a good post-apocalyptic book with almost no warning of what lurks within its covers. I didn't read the the inside tease until I was finished with the book and I only looked at the two maps when I was well past the middle of the book.

The only warnings I gave to myself about what was about to unfold was the blurb on the back...

In the blink of an eye. Everyone disappears. GONE.
Except for the young. Teens. Middle schoolers. Toddlers. But not one single adult. No teachers, no cops, no doctors, no parents. Just as suddenly, there are no phones, no internet, no television. No way to get help. And no way to figure out what's happened.
Hunger threatens. Bullies rule. A sinister creature lurks. Animals are mutating. And the teens themselves are changing, developing new talents—unimaginable, dangerous, deadly powers—that grow stronger by the day.
It's a terrifying new world. Sides are being chosen, a fight is shaping up. Townies against rich kids. Bullies against the weak. Powerful against powerless. And time is running out: On your birthday, you disappear just like everyone else...

and the video preview from the youtubes (since when did books begin to get their own trailer?) and the review from VOYA (Voice of Youth Advocates ... I guess whoever they are): 'If Stephen King had written Lord of the Flies, it might have a little like this'.

What I'm getting at is that everything I read or had looked into gave me the impression I was in for a fantastic PA experience. Well I was wrong. I did enjoy the book a great deal. But it wasn't apocalyptic. The first couple chapters give you the impression the event in the book is an earth shattering one. There is a bit of mayhem when the kids discover the adults have all vanished but most of that is the typical 'lets pig out on junk food and drink some beers' type of shenanigans. The bully begins to flex his muscles with no fear of an adult stopping him. The guy even gets a nifty name 'Orc'. Him and a bunch of other ne'er-do-wells take control of the town and demand tribute. And because bullies are notoriously stupid they don't plan ahead and the town is retaken by a group of even stronger and much more vicious bullies from The Coates Academy.

This book is quite a lot like Lord of the Flies, except they were sealed in a bubble and not on an island. Even the bubble scenario has been done quite a bit. Firstly in the book Spin by Robert Charles Wilson the entire Earth is sealed in a bubble. In the bubble time passes very quickly and at the normal rate for the rest of the universe. Secondly it is nearly a carbon copy of the scenario in the comic book Girls by Jonathan and Joshua Luna .... well just the dome bit and not 14 and over going 'poof' and the powers and what not. Other than that it's exactly the same. Also a bit of breaking news here. Apparently Stephen King has a new novel that will be released soon called 'Under the Dome' or 'The Cannibals' depending on the sites you are reading. He said it's deals with the same sort of material as The Stand but more allegorical. Anyhow this is the first sentence from the synopsis 'On an entirely normal, beautiful fall day in Chester's Mill, Maine, the town is inexplicably and suddenly sealed off from the rest of the world by an invisible force field.' So it looks as though Mr. King is jumping on the bandwagon. I don't care if he did write the original manuscript in 1980- I am still calling him a bandwagon jumper. I figure he thinks he may just as well get it out there while the getting is good. Stephenking.com has a handy excerpt of it. I won't be reading it though because of the whole me preferring paper deal.

Don't get me wrong though ... Hunger (Gone II) is out and on my list to read. Can't wait.

Look for posting of:

The Plague Trilogy by Jean Ure

Dark December by Alfred Coppel

Cataclysm by Don Pendelton

What Naill Saw by Brian Cullen

The Postman by David Brin

The Vanished by John Peel

Why Do Birds by Damon Knight

Twilight World by Poul Anderson

** yes I've been a bit lazy in posting. I'll get to work soon and whatnot **

The Machine Stops

No this post will not be about the short story The Machine Stops by E.M. Forster. I can't I don't own it yet. This is a rare short story that is in fact quite simple to find and read on the interwebs. I haven't read it because I prefer to read the real pen and paper story. Oh well.

Last week I went on my yearly sporting event viewing with the fam. I guess I have to do this once a year to spend some quality time with my father-in-law. It's not a big deal really. Anyhow I went to the annual viewing of the local baseball team. The Salem-Keizer Volcanoes. I had a pretty good time. We got some general admission seats so I got to sit in camp chair. Let me tell you this was way better then a box seat or a seat in the bleachers. Great time was had by all.

I even brought the book I was starting to the game because we got there early and I get bored way too quickly. Anyhow I sat there reading for a bit and relaxing. That's when I saw it. There was this old dude giving me the old stink eye. I couldn't figure it out. Was he grumpy because I was reading at a ball game? Was he upset because I had smuggled in some Mike 'n' Ikes and Lemonheads? What was his deal? It freaked me out so much I left to get a soda.

Now my wife prefers diet soda so that's what I got. I couldn't help but notice the soda jerk didn't give me a lid or a straw. I asked him and it sounded to me like he said he was out. Fine whatever... I went back to my chair and sat down picked up my book again and continued to read. The whole no lid thing really bugged me. My wife being a thinking sort suggested I go to a different counter and get a the straw/lid combo from them. Great idea I say. When I stand up though my book falls and hits the cup. DAMN IT! Now the ballpark has made me scuff my book.

I keep going though. I really want that lid/straw. I get to the other snack bar and ask them for the lid/straw. Guess what? Seems the knuckle-dragging mouth-breathing fugitives from evolution who are regular attendees of the ballpark (also the same sort who kick the backs of theater seats) can't be bothered to throw their trash in the proper place (and the ball park doesn't want to hire someone to do it) so the result is that the park is no longer giving out the lid/straw combo with the drinks. JUMPING JESUS ON A POGOSTICK! That's got to be the third most important element of a successful beverage enjoying occasion (#1 being the beverage and #2 being the cup). And when I got back the old guy was still giving me the ol' hairy eyeball. WTF. Hard to read when when someone is staring at you.

Woooo got that out of the way. That was a full-on Rick Emerson style rant. Wow. Anyhow the point being here is the book I started was Ill Wind by Kevin J. Anderson and Doug Beason. It was a great book. Took me about a week to read it though. Not because it was a bad or boring book but because that week was very busy. First was the whole ball game issue. I should have known it would be a long reading process. I also had to contend with a bit of bottling my home brew and four days on the Columbia River attempting to catch the wily salmon. Not to worry I succeeded at both of those things quite handily.

On to the book discussion now. In Ill Wind by Anderson and Beason (and yes I had to keep telling people it wasn't about farts much like I had to tell my brother-in-law Matt that The Elegance of the Hedgehog had nothing to do with Ron Jeremy) the end comes about from 'The Petroplague'. After a large oil tanker 'The Zoroaster' hits the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco Bay and begins to spill out a giant oil slick it looks like it's going to be the worst disaster the world has seen. Not to worry however because a crafty scientist has bioengineering a microbe that eats petroleum. Neet huh? Of course things go from bad to worse when the microbe gets out of control and eats everything that is petroleum based. It doesn't take much time at all and the world is back in the Dark Ages again.

It's a great book and if I had to compare it anything else I would say it is sort of a mixture of Lucifer's Hammer by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle and the Emberverse Series by S. M. Serling. The portion of Hammer I'm talking about is the simple scientists attempting to save what technology there is and using a bunch of improvised weapons to do the job properly. Yes I am perfectly aware of all the negative reviews saying Niven and Pournell are two racist bastards. Whatever. I for one think Lucifer's Hammer was pretty terrific (Tee double e double r double i double c c c ... woot). The portion of the Emberverse Series I saw was just the fact that machines didn't operate any longer and some scientists mentioning that new Dark Ages may descend on the Earth. The Emberverse Series is pretty fantastic in its own right as well. All the PA type stuff happens in the first book 'Dies the Fire' and the rest of the books just go into nation building. The part about the series that bugged me about the series and it not that they don't take advantage of methods of energy that are not fossil fuels or the Alien Space Bats whatever. I had a big problem with everyone all over the Earth at the same time deciding 'Hey I know lets all make armor, swords and crossbows... It'd be great to live in castles too.' I kept expecting them to do it in Ill Wind as well. Well hats off to Anderson and Beason for avoiding that particular pitfall and providing my with an outstanding diversion from everyday bordom.

Oh ya ... the old stink eye dude. Seems the place we chose to set up our camp chairs was also the place where the opposing team (The Canadians? Maybe?) came on the field. The old guy was just wanting to make sure he gave them an 'attaboy' and wish them luck. Wasn't about me at all.

Apocalypse by Suicide

Alright, so I just finished The Suicide Collectors by David Oppegaard. This book is set in the near future. It's a bit hard to tell from the story but careful readers will pick up on some pretty subtle clues. Clue the First: the roads are made of a special kind of super strong concrete (I tried to remember what they call it but no luck.) Clue the Second: Cars are powered by hydrogen fuel cells and have voice recognition. Clue the Third: Factories are run by robots (people get pissed about this and riot). So the book takes place in the future but the future is still a very recognisable and not too distant place.

The end of humanity in this book comes to pass in an interesting but not unheard of way. Everyone on the planet gives up on life and decides the best option is to kill themselves. The story picks up 5 years after the malady has pretty much burned itself out and few people are left. A bit is talked about of 'The 10 Percent'. Mr Oppegaard doesn't give many details but I guess The Despair is 90% fatal and the rest of the people have a bit of resistance to it.

The majority of the book deals with the conflict between Norman and a mysterious group of people who are known as 'Collectors'. These people apparently swoop in and collect the bodies of people who have killed themselves. They're pissed because Norman kills one instead of allowing them take the body of his wife. The specific mechanism of how these collectors figure out where the dead are or why exactly they collect them are never really gone into.

As I looked about the interwebs at different reviews I found a couple interesting things. Some I agree with such as the book being a damn fine work of fiction and the Collectors being like the 'bring out your dead' folks from the Black Death. Other things I totally disagree with.

First: Some found it unlikely that water would still be operating without any human intervention. Problem a. I watched Life After People recently and I'm nearly sure they said water would be running for years, problem b. in Earth Abides the water runs for decades as does the sewer system and no one had any difficulty believing that and problem c. the BOOK TAKES PLACE IN THE FUTURE. C'mon! We believe the fuel cells, the duracrete (is that the name of it?) and the completely automated factories but balk at the water still running in five years? That was a much smaller leap than cars and helicopters running without gas in five years. Just sayin.

Second this review taken directly from the author's website:

"Just when it seems that there are no new plots left to write about, David Oppegaard has come up with a doozy. His THE SUICIDE COLLECTORS takes us to a startling theme we haven't encountered before, with every page a thrilling new surprise."

-Stan Lee, writer, editor, & former Marvel Comics chairman

That is Stan Lee talking there. I guess he never saw The Happening, the M. Night Shyamalan pile. Now if Night had ran the movie to it's logical conclusion a world like the one in the Collectors would be the result.

Also he must have overlooked The Bridge by D. Keith Mano. Humanity also kills themselves in this book. I have read reviews of it here done in a much better depth than I intend on giving it. I will say only one thing here. I don't think the book is a PETA gone wild sort of thing, I took it as being more like The Handicapper General from Harrison Bergeron by Kurt Vonnegut taken to the extreme of everything being equal not just people. In The Bridge everyone dies because killing anything - even bacteria when you breath - is illegal.

Lastly he must have overlooked The Suicide Plague by Ed Naha. I haven't read this one yet but it's not too much of a stretch to guess at the basic plot of the book.

So Stan Lee, you are wrong this has been done at least twice before and perhaps a third so it is definitely not 'a startling theme we haven't encountered before'. Just so you know.

That being said, this is a fantastic book and would be an excellent addition to any PA library. Even mine.